Thursday, February 18, 2010

Swirling Fumes

As the nails went flying...

As she plunged the sharp edge between the acrylic and the natural, the fleeting second of pain I felt masked itself in a fleeting sense of liberation, unmasking. My eyes floated from one hand to the other, from artificial beauty to natural imperfection. The scares left from my attempt at obtaining digital perfection undulated quite like ocean waves within my nail beds. So much so that the salt I've been yearning to taste on my lips, the sound of the dark hypnotic noise from November was in that room with me.

Buckling my seatbelt and pulling into traffic reminiscent of the frogger game I could play until the Apple 2GS needed a break, I noticed that my habit of demolishing my cuticles when deep in thought was back. As instantly as it had left at the seemingly small price of $40, it was back.

As I do, in times alone, I found myself mulling over how appropriate this superficial representation of not so superficial events was. I found myself thinking about removing all attempts at perfection and marinating for awhile in the imperfections that define my character. In my habitual tendencies to over think and find meaning in moments otherwise insignificant. How I run, like a child toward a moon bounce to my good friend, Walt Whitman at the end of a long day, or week, or months upon months. My inability to take music lightly and my incomprehensible annoyance with those that do. The way my phone rings and I find delight in the discretion I maintain to answer or to listen, in it's entirety, to the ring tone I so carefully crafted.

Perhaps the toxic fumes and my not having the luxury of a mask as the employees do were to blame for this moment of clarity born out of mundane errands. Perhaps, something serendipitous all together. Regardless, I am thankful. Faults galore, step right up and watch her delight in her shortcomings. Her shortcomings that were crafted for her and her alone.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Move on over


Dear Old Man Winter,

I love you and the weight of the snow you bring to my doorstep each year. I love the silence that accompanies your stay in the twelfth month. I love the blanket of beauty you lay down for my eyes to delight in and my soul to ponder. Even before the snow settles in it's resting place, you provide a show, under every street light and clung to each branch of the trees outside my windows. So yes, Old Man, I love you.

You know as well as I do that your stay this year has been longer than necessary. Plain and simple, you've overstayed your welcome and it's time for you to move over and give your seat to the sweet lady of spring. I spoke with her this morning and although she too has an affinity for you, her feet are growing tired of standing in that aisle waiting for you to be the gentlemen we all know you are and give up your seat.

Lady Spring is growing rather impatient with your "winter weather advisories" and "winter storm warnings" and I must admit that I share her sentiment. She's waiting with sunshine and green grass dripping from her pockets and the baby birds she's carrying are getting restless and are need to log some flight hours before they will be able to fully enjoy summer. My wings are in need of stretching as well; in need of the ability to walk out my front door and fall into soft, supple grass that will make me itchy from head to toe in a matter of seconds. My wings are in need of a good campsite, a long night around the fire and the ability to breath in the scent of something other than street salt.

So what will it be, Old Man? With all the love in my heart I beg you, give it up. Have a great spring and summer and I'll see you next year.

All my love,
LizzyB

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Enjoy the Ride!

Breath, Calm Down, Enjoy the Ride...

I cannot count how many times I have gotten this exact advice! If you know me, you know that I have a tendency to be thinking miles and miles ahead of myself on this road I'm traveling. Always thinking about the future, always checking and re-checking myself to make sure that I'm making the "right" decision, the decision that will get me to where, exactly? My tendency to want to flash forward has prevented me from slowing down and enjoying life's little gifts, at times.

Not always riddled with this tendency, I have been blessed with so many awesome days free of worry. Just so were clear...I have had a lot of fun in my life :). For some reason though, I come back to true north and the planning begins again.

Recently, I've been able, for whatever reason to slow it down a bit and enjoy what life is offering me. Even with the stresses that are constantly being thrown into my life in regards to the economy and work and things of that adult nature, I am finding myself calm. Almost as if frozen, in peace, as the world continues to spin around my two little feet. This, my friends, is new for me. So new, in fact, that I've been sending up prayer after prayer after prayer thanking God and begging him to show me if my peace and confidence are in vain. After so many prayers, there remains this peace.

And I remain...thankful. Thankful that the spinning plates of timing, maturity and a fresh perspective have all seemed to nestle into a very nice balancing act.

Thank you God, for your blessings, for the peace I have in my soul, for the confidence I have in you and others