Ebbs and Flows

"The flowing in and out of the tide..."

A simple phrase. A simple definition. When applied scientifically, not a truly interesting or in depth concept. Ebbs and Flows: in common terms, when water reaches the shore and retreats into the mass of itself.

In life, however, ebbs and flows are intrinsically interesting and captivating in their delight as well as their shortcomings. When a person reaches a point of "ebbs," he or she will inevitably reach the point of "flows." For the faint of heart, I would recommend a constant state of "ebbing" as I have found recently that "flowing" is a rather difficult and heart penetrating task of sorts.

The ocean understands itself, if only by communication known only to it's inhabitants. A language of ocean clicks and chatter that to the common, none ocean dwelling ear, nonsense. But, just as a person breaths in air and exhales just the same, the ocean knows it's person and understands when the bell chimes for the retreat, the slow, mesmerizing, graceful unclenching of sand on the shore.

Although I have applied this ebbs and flows theory to times in my life prior, I find it all the more fitting in the days leading up to my journey south and a comfortable landing place on the shores of the ocean of which I speak.

Although the fluidity with which I except this retreat has had it's bumps full of balling, crying, snotty messiness, I am confident that I, as the ocean know my person well enough to know that the bell has chimed and it is my obligation to myself and those that have fostered all the good I have, to respond accordingly.

The beauty of the ocean tide is that, proven by the theory, it always returns to the place from whence it was birthed. Frequently, passionately, excitedly, it flows, time and again to it's home.

I find this organic foundation comforting in this transition and I am thankful that the forces I have been blessed to be attached to in my years leading up to now, are most definitely strong enough to bring me back...frequently, passionately, excitedly from whence I came.

Woo Sau

From excitement to decision to realization...

On March 12th, I sat with Robot in her apartment and talked through the possibility of packing up and making the move down south. At that point, my mind was racing about as quickly as it ever has as I fired off questions and what-ifs in her direction. It seems like within hours, I knew, if only in the back of my mind, that this was a legitimate possibility. A day later, as I sat squirming in my seat at SRQ, I knew that a change was coming with an organic motion behind it that was undeniable.

Using various songs, conversations and of course, pivotal quotes, the decision was birthed and nurtured to it's current state. There was a certainty in my soul that I have felt few times prior and I had to follow that certainty with every ounce. I remember thinking that this change was most likely going to rock my world more than I could conger and I think I can safely say, I was right.

I have yet to move a thing to Florida and already, the changes have been flowing...

Somewhere across the street, I got distracted by the brightness of the crossing guard's vest and froze a bit. The freezing commenced and although defrosting beckoned me in the form of positive thoughts and supportive individuals, I continually threw myself back into the path of old man winter.

Well, break out the ice picks and blow dryers because the unearthing of my calm has arrived. This experience is not one to be clouded by a negative nancy demeanor and a heavy brow. My experience, while it may have a different get up than I expected at it's inception, will be beautiful and tangled and chalked full of laughter. Of this, I am certain.

ugh.

I am exhausted both emotionally and physically.

A letter to the editor or sorts

Dear Stress:

While I admit there have been times I have appreciated your ability to provoke productivity from my being, I am, at this point, out of appreciation for you. Your incessant need to fill my mind with negative thoughts and quite frankly, bullshit worries that I have no control over has become mundane. I expected more from you, Stress. Your tricks are tired and haggard and I hoped that by now, you would have reinvented something, so as to keep things interesting. Rather, you've just spit out the same rhythm that I've heard a thousand times. So much so that you're beginning to remind me of the band The Fray and that, Stress, is not a compliment.

And so, I bid you farewell and hope that you find a home far from myself and those I love. Feel free to land on the shoulder of any person in need of a good karma induced reckoning...

Without love,

Liz