Life made simple

Apparently, my compass was already fixin to point north...

I read an article archived on one of my favorite blogs recently with a HUGE list of things you could begin doing to simplify your life. It's interesting how quitting smoking has allowed me to tap in to this well of determination and strength that I wasn't aware existed. Conquering this little beast, day by day, has given me this amazing feeling about what my future may hold. Feeling empowered is an amazing way to begin and complete each day. I may be exhausted. My body may be releasing toxins left and right in all these different (and some quite annoying or down right disgusting) ways but my mind is clear of the addiction speak.

What and enormous gift I have been given. I digress...

The list within the article I am raving about begins with this initiative:

1) Choose four-five priorities/themes/aspects/notions that are the most important to you in life. These are the four-five elements you would like your life to be focused and centered around.

Easy! Um....wait...is it?

It was hilarious! I sat down a few days ago thinking that I had this in the bag. One, Two, Three, Four, Five and done. Next! Not so, my friends, not so. Spots 1, 2 and 3 filled up quite quickly and then...I froze. Four and five? FOUR and FIVE? What the heck were my fourth and fifth elements? And so...I took a few days to think about it and today, I filled in spots four and five. I was patient with myself and I liked that feeling.

After I completed step number one, I rolled up my sleeves and prepared myself for the next big task. I was pleasantly surprised to see that I had already began to focus on the next five-ten initiatives. In fact, I had been doing some of the initiatives since moving to Florida. Steps like limiting media intake, television, consumerism, materialism. I have, by no means, been perfect at any of these steps but I found a morsel of pride in the fact that I had already begun to live some of the steps out.

I am not sure if there is something in the air or if I am simply feeling the effects of increased oxygen in my blood but life has been really blessed lately. There's a line from a song that I always think about when it comes to having pride:

"I wanna have pride, like my mama has, not like the kind in the Bible that turns you bad."

I feel that kind of pride today as I fall asleep and allow my body to repair itself and rest for another day. Pride in what I've been raised with. Pride that I am putting what I've been raised with to good use.

Beat

Those who are insanely productive: Those who do not smoke cigarettes. One in the same.

Monday and I am already beat. I have that feeling lurking somewhere in the pit of my stomach with a big fat name tag that reads: EXHAUSTED. My head keeps lowering in degrees closer to my chin hitting my chest. A physiological white flag waving.

It feels absolutely amazing to be this exhausted! To have a reason to get home late and run around like mad getting lunch packed and teeth brushed before bed. I don't feel like it's even productivity in vain either. I have a strong displeasure for productivity that results in someones insides turned upside down, their hair falling out and there teeth chattering from the velocity of life. In my opinion, that type of activity is just as demolishing as my cigarette addiction. The attempt to fill a void with another void. The hoops I jumped through tonight were lovely hoops. Hoops that will make my day smooth tomorrow and hoops that allowed me to connect with my friend.

Quick summary (and this is more to hold myself accountable to not smoking than it will prove to be entertaining.) Today I: Worked a 10 hour day, had dinner with my friend Robot, quick Target run with Robot, commuted home, quick gas station trip to fill up for tomorrow's commute (successfully went to gas station and did not purchase cigarettes), made homemade croutons for salad (lunch) tomorrow our of bread that was about to turn, made dressing in old olive oil bottle for said salad tomorrow, made salad for lunch tomorrow, did all dishes and left the kitchen looking spic and span.

It may sound as if I am taking pride in the small things. Honestly, it's because I am. When I was smoking, my whole life was about sitting outside, talking on the phone and smoking. While I will obviously keep the habit of talking on the phone with those I love and keeping in touch, it's nice to have time in the evening to make salad dressing or homemade croutons. It's nice to not have a full sink of dishes staring me down when I get home from work tomorrow because I wasted time tonight or simply felt too exhausted from treating my body like a garbage can that I couldn't bare to do them.

Smoking is a tricky addiction because it remains mainstream and somewhat common place. That may be one reason it is such a difficult habit to break. Because no one except the addict understands how much it robs from the addict. Health, monetary and general quality of life are all wrapped up in this addiction even if smokers do an excellent job of acting as if that's not the case.

I feel very blessed to be making this decision. Even though I have moments where I want to climb the walls of my apartment or bite someones head off, I know there is purpose to those feelings. I deserve good health and I'm grabbing it by the horns!

Homemade dressing ingredients:

Old Olive Oil Bottle I will now use all the time for homemade dressings (cleaned and sanitized each time of course!)

I had to throw this in! This is a bottle of "The Dreaming Tree" wine made in part by...you guessed it...Dave Matthews! Why is this significant at all to my quitting smoking? I am learning to enjoy life again. To enjoy the little things. I treated myself to this bottle because although I am attempting to save the money I am not spending on cigarettes, I thought a one week award was in order. And what a wonderful one week award it will certainly be!

Not as Catchy

"Smoke free in 2012" is not as catchy as "Smoke free in 2003" but I'll take it...

Deciding to make my quitting smoking a public thing was a surprisingly easy decision. I have spoken about quitting smoking in prior posts so I knew the cat was already out of the bag. I wasn't quite sure, however, that everyone (anyone, for that matter) knew that I had taken back the nasty habit, if even with reluctant arms.

Making my battle with cigarettes and everything encompassed within the swirling tornado referred to kindly as "addiction" public was an easy decision for a couple of reasons. One: I respond promptly to the threat of letting others down and thus, by making my quitting public, I am opening the door for others to "check-in." Two: I need to stay busy. Forward motion is everything. Each time I sit down to write about not smoking is a moment of the day that I am winning this little (Enormous) war.

My goal for 2012 was to quit smoking and so far, I've upheld that goal. And this....this is what I've been doing...

Homemade Spicy Shrimp and fresh bread for dipping

Tea and Reading on my porch in the sunshine

Cutting fresh citrus for homemade air freshener

Made my home, HoMe.